Life, Liberty, & the Happiness of Pursuit

Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Life, liberty, and the pursuit of grandma's mashed potatoes. Life, liberty, and the pursuit of booze-driven holiday family arguments.

We don't care what you do, just as long as you do whatever you want. You were born on this country's soil with certain inalienable rights.

You want to keep your small business business open? Good. You want to get turkey-drunk with the homies? Fine. You want to have a fancy get together with your close friends and neighbors? Fine. You want to throw a tea party in the Boston Harbor? Fine. You want to dress up as the grinch and scare the bejesus out of your nieces and nephews? Fine. You want to do karate in the garage? Fine. You want to spend the holidays alone? Fine, although I doubt anyone would've come to your sh*tty party anyway. Remember, Law Enforcement took an oath to the public trust, a loyalty to the Constitution, laws, and ethical principles...not to a government paycheck.

If you find yourself in a bind this holiday season for being the captain of your own ship, please forward your oppressors to the US Constitution. "The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized." (Amendment 4, Bill of Rights)

Let's not get started on the invasive and asinine restrictions put forth on the people and businesses of the US by these turds. Forcing citizens into poverty and depression is not virtuous, it is oppressive, controlling, cruel, arbitrary, and ignorant of inadvertent consequences. Do I even need to mention the hypocritical actions of our elected public officials?

"Silly peasants, rules for thee but not for me."

With your safety in mind. Sincerely,

Your Turd Overlords 

(Newsome, Deblasio, Pelosi, Lightfoot, Hancock, Adler, etc.)

Do what makes you happy this Holiday season, even if it means pissing off Karen from your 10th grade Environmental Science class on Facebook. Yes, Karen, my business' doors are still open, yes I did throw a rager this past weekend, yes it did get out of hand, yes I did take body shots of Wild Turkey off of Greg's hairy belly, yes my grandmother was there, and yes she enjoyed herself very much. Mind your business.

Chances are your County Sheriff doesn't care anyway, and let's be real, Karen is a woke bum with no love for herself, her country, her rights, or her fellow citizens.

Happy Holidays everyone! Celebrate your friends and family in whatever way you see fit!