How To Ruin St. Patrick's Day

How To Ruin St. Patrick's Day

Let's be honest, America seems to have stolen St. Patrick's Day. Green beer, green rivers, dumb green outfits, parades, silly hats, and weekday debauchery. Most of us don't even know what it means, but we know how to do it, and we do it well. This St. Patty's Day and the weekend that follows don't forget to wear green, enjoy yourself, stay safe, and spread the love! Once again, here's your friendly Epoch reminder on "How To Ruin St. Patrick's Day:"

1. Don't head over to our Home Page and scratch for a chance to win. Discounts, free products, and more! DON'T CLICK HERE.

2. Wear red.

3. Realize St. Patrick's day is on a Wednesday, in the middle of a work week, while at an after-party at 4:00am. You work at 6:00am.

4. Pinch a stranger, find out it's Conor McGregor, lose a fight, and lose your girl. All while wearing a dumb green outfit.

5. Drink too much green beer, then meet said green beer again while in the fetal position on a public bathroom floor.

6. Whiskey.

7. More whiskey.


Jonathan Wilson

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